


Lexa's War Paint

by Broegan



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 06:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6068875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broegan/pseuds/Broegan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Lexa confides in Clarke Griffin, telling her exactly what the purpose of her war paint is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lexa's War Paint

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to write! I haven't written a fic that wasn't in my Spider-Man fic before. If people end up liking this, I'd definitely like to write more in the future!
> 
> If you'd like to know what types of content warnings there may be, you can scroll to the very bottom!

A chilling, bitter wind comes through the large, open window in Lexa’s room. It’s located on the highest level of the tower, and the breeze sends goosebumps on her exposed skin that her dressing gown doesn’t cover.

As she walks towards the open window, she lets out a sigh of anticipation. Her toes meet the edge and curl over it, and as she looks down, her heart drops. Not just because of the miraculous height, but because of what’s to come.

Too many times she has been here. Too many times it has been the eve of battle. But this time – this time it’s different. This time it’s for Clarke’s people. Lexa’s people.

She wasn’t making it up when she declared that she wanted Skaikru to be hers. So when it was made clear that the Ice Nation was planning to attack Arkadia at dawn, Lexa jumped to protect them, just as she would if they targeted any of the 12 clans.

Taking one last deep breath, she steps away from the ledge of the window and sits on her four poster bed. Reaching over, she opens a drawer in the table next to it. The content inside of the metal cabinet is an old knife with a wooden handle that looks to be carved into some kind of animal.

With delicate fingers, she picks it up.

Lexa grabs the hem of her silk night dress and slides it up until it’s bunched in her lap, exposing both of her legs. She places her blade on her upper thigh; an action that she has gotten used to over the span of her life, the dozens upon dozens of scars indicating so. She’s about to slice down on her flesh when…

“ _What are you doing?_ ” Clarke is in the doorway with worry in her voice. Lexa was so caught up in her own thoughts she must have not heard her come in.

“It’s nothing, Clarke. You should get some rest.” Lexa says in her calm and collected tone.

“Like hell I am.” Clarke is next to Lexa in a few long strides. She sits beside her, her hand moves on top of Lexa’s which is still holding the dagger. “What’s this about?”

Lexa looks down at their hands, reluctant to say anything.

“Lexa, please.”

“Do you really want to know?” She finally whispers.

“I do.”

“Well, I guess It started when I was 8...”

 

**14 YEARS AGO**

 

“Lexa, up!” Anya demanded.

She never had to be told twice. Despite the black blood dripping from her nostrils and the already developing black eye, Lexa picks her tiny body off the ground and gets into another fighting stance.

Anya lunges a punch, and Lexa ducks it, but as she does, Anya comes from the the other side with a kick to the face, knocking Lexa down again.

“UP!”

Lexa gets back up.

“Do you think you might be pushing her a little too hard, Anya?” Titus says as he approaches after the training match, leaving Lexa to tend to her own wounds.

“It’s the only way.” She retorts, wiping the blood off of her knuckles.

With a reciprocated nod to Titus, Anya turns back to her pupil to find the young girl has disappeared.

After a brief search, she finally locates Lexa in the healing hut. She’s holding one of the only mirrors in the village with her little hand, looking at her bloody nose, manipulating the black liquid so that it makes designs across her cheek.

“You’re not supposed to leave without supervision.” Anya’s voice is deep, but there’s a lightness to it.

Lexa spins around and straightens up immediately, placing the mirror behind her back, but loosens up once she sees the slight smirk on Anya’s face.

“What are you doing with this?” Anya grabs Lexas face into her hand, wiping the drying blood off with her thumb.

“All the best warriors have war paint. I just thought–”

“We don’t use blood to do it, little one.”

“I know.” Lexa replies sheepishly.

“Now let’s get you to bed.”

 

**9 YEARS AFTER**

 

Costia knows better to try and will Lexa back to bed. She has ‘matters to take care of’, Lexa told her. Instead, she looks lovingly at her Heda and asks her something she’s been wondering for awhile now.

“Why do you do that?” She inquires, still laying in bed with nothing but a sheet partially covering her. Lexa is sitting at an old vanity, spreading blackness onto her eyes. “You do it before every battle.”

Lexa pauses with her fingertips on her cheek, ready to smear it across, but she turns around to look at her lover.

“All the best warriors do it before battle.”

Costia gets up while wrapping the blanket around her, and she kneels in front of the Commander. She looks at a large gash on Lexa’s leg, and she places her hand on the side of her face.

“This is your blood?” She leans in, kissing Lexa’s cheek where the paint lays, tasting the saltiness as her tongue slides over her lips.

“Yes.” She says as she looks down at the love of her life.

“Why?”

“Because if there must be blood shed today…” Lexa starts, but her voice cracks a little. She clears her throat while her eyes narrow.

“This is your way of coping. Taking lives. Taking their blood, so you take some of yours too.”

Lexa doesn’t reply, but by the look in her eyes, Costia knows that she’s right.

 

**A FEW MONTHS LATER**

 

They have her. They have Costia.

It’s all that’s going through Lexa’s mind as she marches to the Ice Nation.

The only sounds in the forest are the soft murmurs of crickets and the quiet crunch of her footsteps on the frosty floor. Nobody else accompanies her. Lexa won’t jeopardize her people for her heart. This is all her fault, and now she must figure this out on her own. She has to. She has to save Costia.

Pausing only for a moment at the bank of a trickling stream, Lexa kneels down and dips her hands in the icy cold water. She is caught off guard by her reflection across the stream’s glassy surface; her young face is clean and bare. Perhaps if she didn’t wear her own blood tonight, others’ would be spared as well. Even though she knows it’s a naive thought, she cannot deny the small glimmer of hope it brings.

The cold that pierces her submerged hands finally returns her focus. The Heda brings the liquid to her lips for a drink, burying such distracting thoughts before trekking on.

Despite the harsh weather, the exhaustion that’s settled in her bones, and the rending branches of the relentless, dark forest, Lexa presses on with only the thought of Costia to move her.

The girl means everything to Lexa. They grew up together, then eventually fell in love long before she became Commander. It isn’t fair that Costia is in jeopardy because of Lexa’s position. But nothing is fair on ground. The faster you accept that, the faster you will understand there’s nothing you can do to change it. Yet Lexa remains hopeful.

Lexa has been traveling for what feels like days now. The sun is rising, a light snow fluttering from above, and she finally comes into a clearing with no trees around for miles. The high gated community is not far away now. She can see it. Lexa practices how she’ll negotiate in her head. Everything she’ll say to the Ice Queen so that Costia will be freed.

Just a few more steps… Just a couple more and Lexa can walk through the gates and fix this.

And then she sees it.

Costia’s head on a wooden spike at the front of the gates.

 

**PRESENT DAY**

 

“Since that day, you do it to honour Costia. You think that, if maybe you had put on the mask, things wouldn’t have ended up the way they did?” Clarke’s voice is gentle as she tries to understand.

The Commander nods her head slightly, making Clarke’s heart drop. An idea develops in her mind, and she stands up and extends her hand to Lexa.

“Come with me,” Clarke requests, and Lexa obliges by taking her hand.

Guiding her out of Lexa’s room, the fair haired girl leads them down the corridor until they come across another door at the end of it; her own quarters within the Commander’s tower. The doorknob is cold in Clarke’s hand as she opens it.

“You can wait for me on the bed, I’ll be with you in a second.”

Lexa quietly obeys and waits patiently on the bed as she watches Clarke rummage through a trunk filled with old supplies. Once Clarke finds what she is looking for, she takes it back to Lexa. She kneels in front of her, holding the small, tin box she fished out of her trunk in her hands.

“I understand why you feel like you need to do this. I just don’t think Costia would want to be remembered by the pain you inflict on yourself. It wasn’t your fault, and she wouldn’t want you to think it was your fault.” The words come out before she knows what she is saying, and she searches Lexa’s face for her reaction. The Commander stays stoic, and Clarke knows she is doing everything she can to keep her true feelings from showing.

After a moment of silence, Clarke opens the tin’s lid, exposing a bunch of black charcoal pieces inside. Lexa has seen Clarke draw with these many times. The artist picks up the dark chalk in her fingers, locking eyes with Heda once more.

“May I?” Clarke asks, and with a deep breath, Lexa nods.

Softly, she glides the charcoal around The Commander's eyes, just as she has seen her wear it many times, but Clarke’s lines are a lot more tidy and intricate than Lexa usually wears them.

Lexa reaches up and grabs Clarke’s hand in hers, still staring into her light blue eyes.

“Isn’t that better?” Clarke whispers softly, but she can barely get the whole sentence out, as Lexa quickly leans forward, her lips connecting with Clarke’s with unbridled desire.

The charcoal drops from her fingertips as Clarke flings her arms around Lexa’s neck. The Commander turns her around, leaning Clarke against the bed as she straddles on top of her.

Their lips part for one second so Lexa can look down at her. It feels like the two are paused in time, completely lost in each other. Finally, Lexa bites her lip before breaking the silence between them.

“I love you.”

With a smile and hungry eyes wanting more, Clarke returns the sentiment.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Content Warning]: Self harm, blood, violence, heights, decapitation, death.


End file.
